May & December
Date: 29.10.2008Keywords: May, December, &,
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*"May and December: The Journal of Bleu_Light_Special"*
"My life has changed so much since my introduction to womanly passion in the arms of my beloved Amora (Bisexual Awakenings: The Journal of Bleu_Light_ Special). It"s hard to believe that almost a year has gone by since our tearful parting on the shores of Cholla Bay. So much has passed my way since then…so many experiences…and not all for the better… "
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Journal Entry: March 8
He said he loved me.
He said I was the most beautiful woman he"d ever met, and that he only wanted to be a part of my life. That was when I still believed him…when I thought his youthful, blue eyes were smiling just for me. But no more…
Scott was the kind of man who knew just what to say, what to do to get me to drop my defenses. He was experienced far beyond my tender years, and as I came to know him, I came to trust him.
But…Scott turned out to be a "user"…a manipulator of women, a man of great disguise. I wish I"d known that before I went to his estate that night. It would have saved me a great deal of mental, and physical pain.
Scott"s elaborate home was set far out in the desert to the north of town, away from the bustling byways of Tucson where his "pastimes" might have been more noticeable. It was a beautiful place…a mansion in fact. Built amid a series of courtyards, it boasted huge, Spanish-tiled greatrooms and massive fireplaces…chandeliers and imported tapestries. But, it was the bedroom that demanded center stage.
Scott"s large bedroom suite was masculine in design. This was no surprise, but the heavy, iron rings set in the walls and ceilings, and the odd leather structures scattered about should have alerted me immediately.
Scott laughed them away…a joke set in place by a former owner, he said. Then he cradled my face in his palms and looked deep into my soul. "Trust me…" he"d whispered.
And I had.
We"d eaten on the patio that night, beneath the smog-free brilliance of the clear, desert sky. We had lobster and a light pilaf…and wine…so much wine. My head began to spin with the indulgence of it all…or was it truly the libations alone that had sent me into such a stupor? I remember closing my eyes, the table beginning to waiver ever so slightly, and when I awoke I was in a large, sparsely furnished area adjacent to his bedroom.
But, something was wrong…seriously wrong. I felt myself bent forward over a saddle of sorts…something like that used by gymnasts. I tried to move my arms, but found them bound below me. My ankles were spread on the far side and likewise restrained. I felt the cold leather padding beneath my naked form. Open and exposed, I cringed. Where were my clothes? What was happening? Why was I…?
And then I knew.
Scott sat before me, naked, the familiar warmth gone from his eyes. Now instead, the cold, icy stare of a sadist remained, and I knew I"d made a serious mistake.
"Jillian," he said, abandoning my preferred nickname of "Bleu". "It"s about time. Do you know how long I"ve wanted to see you bound on this thing, helpless and naked…spread…"
Circling, he moved across the room towards me then, a leather riding crop in his hands, and with a savage slash he whipped it across my buttocks once…twice, and a third time until cold flames began to widen and spread over my vulnerable skin.
Hot, salty tears began to stream down my cheeks. Terror and pain, confusion and shame overcame me. I whimpered at first, then cried out as I felt the crop lay a crimson path across my pale flesh once more.
He laughed, and groping between my legs he grabbed my pubic hair in his fist. "I see the collar and cuffs match," he observed crudely. "I always wondered if you were a natural redhead."
I felt him move closer, his heated flesh pressed close against my tortured buttocks, his fingers exploring my rounded orbs in perverse delight.
"So pale…so untouched, until now" he murmured. "We"ll have to change that." And then, in one hard thrust he forced his massive erection deep into my belly, abusing my tender sex with his savage penetration.
I screamed in shock and pain. Nothing had prepared me for this! Humiliation swept through me, and I heard him grunt in satisfaction. Again he lunged, harder this time until I felt that he would rip me asunder with his monstrous proportions.
"No…no…"I pleaded. "Why are you doing this…Scott? Why? Don"t…please. Please!"
His breath came in ragged gasps now, his lunges slowing finally…and then he withdrew. I whimpered in relief, but only for a second. Then I felt his finger probing between my buttocks…pressing against my narrow portal until, with a sigh he thrust it deep inside.
I gasped, squirming to evade his digit, but he held me fast. "So tight, Jillian," he murmured huskily. "You"ve never been fucked there before, have you?" he laughed. "Good! I like being first!" Then, removing his finger, he parted my trembling buttocks with his hands and ran his tongue along my quivering fissure.
"You"re going to hate this, Jillian…"
"Oh, please, Scott," I begged. "Don"t do this! I can"t!" I cried, remembering the tiny dildo my former lover had used in that place, and the pain it had caused.
He laughed all the harder at my protestations. "Go ahead and beg," he said. "I like the sound of it. Scream, if you want to. I like that even better! No one can hear you way out here, Bitch…so scream your lungs out if you like!"
And with that he positioned his throbbing knob against my untried opening…pressing…pressing as I cried out in torment. Then, with a long, hard thrust he hilted himself deep in my narrow passage.
The pain was excruciating! I cried. I begged. Long wails tore from my lungs, piercing the air in their desperation, but my agony only increased his pleasure. With savage intensity he ravaged me over and over until I grew light-headed from my tortured screams and the room began to swim. Finally, as darkness overcame me I felt his hot offering filling my abused body…and then nothing.
Scott delivered me to my apartment the next morning, bruised and battered, warning me of the folly involved in reporting the incident to the police. No one would believe me, he said…his family was too well known. If anything, all of Tucson would believe that I"d engineered the whole episode to capture myself a rich husband, and then turned on him when my plans had failed to yield results. I"d best keep it to myself…or else.
So much for a pretty face! There has to be more to men than this. Why am I doomed to see only the crude underbelly of that peculiar gender! Perhaps I"m looking in the wrong direction.
I think more and more of my beloved Amora, and the sanctuary she holds in waiting for me at Cholla Bay. It would be so easy to run to her…to have her kiss the bruises from my body and soul…but I mustn"t. It wouldn"t be fair to pop in and out of her life like a jack-in-the-box, then leave her alone in the end. But, I long to see her so very much, to have her give me the assurance that only she can instill.
I finger the delicate silver chain with its tiny key dangling between my breasts…her gift. I wear it always now…a reminder that I"m never alone, that I"m loved and that I always have a home.
I must send Amora an e-mail and tell her that everything is all right, that I"m moving to Tempe in a few days to attend Arizona State University. She"ll believe that, and in fact it"s the truth, but it"s also the truth that I can"t bear to stay in this place any longer. At every turn I turn I see memories of my tormentor. I can"t eat…I can"t sleep. He seems to be everywhere.
I have to leave…and start again…
Chapter 2
July 7 – Tempe, Arizona
It"s been so hot in this place! Someone told me yesterday that Arizonan"s never go to hell, because they can"t take the cold.
I can believe it!
I burned my hand on the door handle of my car yesterday, if you can imagine that, and now I can hardly stand to use it. How did people ever live here before air conditioning?
I parked in the small lot by Payne Hall today. My assigned parking place is almost a mile away, and I had too much to carry to deal with it on the ASU parking trolley. So, I paid the extra $5, and was glad that I at least had the option.
Slowly I gathered my books and paperwork, my backpack and purse and climbed the stairs into the shady breezeway that separates the two halves of the building. Ah…whoever designed this building must have been a genius, I thought for the umpty-ninth time as the cool swirl of air lifted my long, auburn hair from my neck.
Summer school had seemed like such a good idea last spring in Tucson, such an easy way to gather an early twelve credits before the fall semester started, but I hadn"t counted on the heat. Now, at the onset of my second summer session, I was wondering if I"d been mad to ever think of such a thing!
Sweaty, and uncomfortable, I shifted my new texts into a tight embrace between my body and my left elbow, trying to adjust my pack and purse in my right. Then everything fell apart. My purse strap began to slip, and making a mad lunge to save it only sent the remainder of my load helter-skelter across the pavement. Books flew in all directions, and my small collection of vital paperwork swirled outward across the neatly trimmed yard like leaves on a whirlwind.
I was in a panic…what to do first, save my purse, my books, or the paperwork that I so desperately needed for my first class? I looked frantically around me for help, but it seemed that the heat had robbed even the most ardent do-gooders of their tendencies. People just hurried on by…rushing desperately toward their next fix of canned air.
I would have to fend for myself.
And so, grabbing my purse, I turned and began to scoop up my errant papers, chasing them here and there as they traveled from one dust devil to another. Did I find them all? Did I…
"Is this yours?" a gentle voice questioned.
Quickly, I turned, and found a smiling, knight-in–shining- armor clutching the last of my documents.
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Keywords: May, December, &,