The Process of Illumination

Date: 01.07.2007

Keywords: Illumination, of, The, Process,

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"Damn, I wasn't here to help with the laundry. Did you find everything okay?" Ben asked.

"Sure, no problem. I decided to wash sheets too."

"Oh, okay," Ben acknowledged, before his eyes shifted toward the stairs.

Telling my husband about finding the seedy magazine would only serve to confuse him. Besides, there was something harmless and tender about the boy. I decided to keep that bit of information to myself, for the time being.

****************

Ugly Ducklings

I spent the following few weeks dedicated to cleaning up things outside. Bundling up for the approaching winter, I made my way through a glade of trees that led to our pond. "You gonna need some help Barb?" I heard Ben yell from the house.

"Always! And bring some twine with you," I hollered back.

Stacking the debris from dead trees and brush around the pond, I caught sight of Ben heading my way with a roll of twine.

"I thought you had a bunch of homework this weekend. No need to help with this stuff."

"Guess I just needed a break. But, if you'd rather do it yourself..." Ben smiled, exhaling gusts of billowing white steam.

"Don't be silly. Damn, but it's cold out here! You can wrap that one over there. I'll start another stack here," I advised and slapped my arms to keep warm.

Ben wrapped that stack and was tying up another bundle, when I saw a small group of mud ducks taking a water break. Tapping Ben on the shoulder, I pointed in their direction not far from us. The two of us watched as the younger ducks dutifully followed their mother.

"Now that's one ugly duck," Ben commented, at seeing a smaller duck who appeared to be the runt of the litter.

"Oh, I think they're cute," I remarked, now shivering.

Finishing up the tie job, he noticed my uncontrollable shaking and put his arm around me for shelter. "You women are all alike. C'mon now, that's one ugly duck!"

"He may s-seem that way right now, but s-someday..." My teeth chattered.

"Right, I remember the story. Unfortunately, we don't have time to watch the transformation, and besides it's a mud duck. He won't get much better looking. You're freezin' girl! Better get you back to the house NOW!"

A stiff northeast wind bore down on us, as we fast walked/ran back to the house. Slamming the door behind us, Ben looked on as I stood frozen solid. "G-GOD, I can't move." I said, as he took his parka off.

"Here, take that off and I'll fix the fire," he commanded, pealing off my heavy coat, cap and gloves.

"The ducks... that o-one ugly d-duck..." I started, trying to shift my brain from the pain in my stiff joints. "You just w-watch and see! One d-day..."

"Damn, would you just stop with the fucking ducks!" Ben rekindled the fire.

Coming back to me, he cupped my pale face in the warmth of his large hands. I felt the blood instantly return to my cheeks, while his gentle touch caressed me. Our eyes locked together for an eternity. His index fingers worked under my ear lobes. Then the slightest hint of his hands pulling me forward broke the spell. I averted my eyes from his and pulled away.

"Not for this ugly duck," I heard him mumble, as I turned away.

"What did you say, Ben?" I asked.

"Nothing, just talking to myself," he brushed off, lowered his head, and went back to stoking the fire.

I shuffled off to the kitchen to set us up with a pair of hot chocolates, and nothing else was said about ugly ducks. I knew he must have mistaken my brushing him off as a blow to his ego. If he really knew why I retreated from any further advances; that I was becoming attracted to him, perhaps that might have made a difference. If he knew this was my problem and not his? No, he didn't need to know that.

Funny thing is, from then on, he underwent more obvious physical changes. The young man's household routine started to include time on the treadmill and working out with Donny's weights. He started eating less at meals, and virtually cut out colas, which had been his major addiction. Ben was trimming down, beefing up, and basically evolving into quite a stud.

Once they develop a mind-set, kids are amazing! In only a month's time, Ben's transformation was well underway. His once flabby overstocked belly and ass tightened up nicely, while his upper body grew thick with muscles. Except for the unmanageable hair, scraggly beard and horn-rimmed glasses, I would never have recognized him as the same twenty-two-year-old.

Considering that I might have been somewhat of a catalyst in such an impressive transformation, I was secretly proud of contributing to his makeover. Since I hadn't verbalized my part in Ben's new body, Donny (the Savior of Strays) gloated at what he thought was his casual influence.

"Old Ben's sure coming around, don't ya think?" My husband boasted during dinner.

"How's that?" I played along.

"Don't tell me you haven't noticed how trim he's getting?"

"Oh that, yeah I guess he is," I replied, with a subdued smirk.

"Well, it's all my doing, you know. I told him to shape up, if he ever wanted a chance with the ladies," Donny stated, like repeating some ancient proverb.

"Hmm, and which ladies would that be?"

"Maybe the little honey I have him set up with this Friday night."

"Oh really! And, who's the lucky girl?"

"Her name is Alicia. She's this cute little blonde receptionist that works for Watson Construction," Donny said between bites.

"You keep saying how little she is. She's not vertically challenged, I hope."

"NO. She's just petite, you know, about Meg's size," Hubby added, referring to our daughter. "Just a sweet girl – always bubbling about something or other," he added.

"So, just because this sweet little bubble head has a crush on you, you think she'll be interested in Ben," I poked him.

"I never said she has a crush... geez, the girl is like twenty-one. She and Ben will have a great time... I think. I mean, you can never tell about these things. Who knows?" Donny shrugged.

"Well I'm sure Ben will give us an accurate play-by-play," I smiled.

"Better than that; we're making it a foursome. We get to watch!"

"Hmm, thanks for letting me know. God Donny, you never cease to amaze me," I said, shaking my head. "And where do you - I mean WE - plan on taking these kids?"

"Dinner and dancing, whatcha think?" He suggested.

"Okay, and how fancy a place, so I know how to dress," I prodded him.

After rattling off all the restaurants in town, we decided Grig's Steak House & Lounge would be our best shot for having a fun night with a pair of kids thirty years younger than us. The food was good and the adjoining lounge had dancing. Dress was high-casual to low-formal, meaning we could pretty much wear anything halfway decent, without being stuffy.

Thursday, before the big Friday, offered a pleasant surprise; and I did have to thank my hubby for this one. He treated Ben to an early date with his barber. "Oh my Lord, what do we have HERE!" I said, almost in shock. "The barber must have had a field day with you!" I exclaimed, seeing Ben for the first time with short hair and a clean-shaven face.

"I think he butchered me," Ben grunted.

"Nonsense, it looks great, Ben. Just look at you... you STUD!" I exclaimed, dragging him to the hall mirror. "See, just enough hair for Alicia to run her hands through, when you make your play for her," I said, running my fingers through his shortened locks for effect.

"Right, I'm sure. I haven't even met the girl." Ben blushed.

Judging from his previously hidden pot marked complexion, I assumed the beard was more a practical than cosmetic decision. I'm sure he felt uncovered and quite self-conscious, as his reclusive body language indicated.

"You may not believe me, but I DO know exactly what you're going through," I empathized.

"You're right Barb, I don't believe you."

"I was a bit younger than you, when my face was ravaged with acne. My mom was always hauling me off somewhere to visit another dermatologist. This was long before they have all the fancy meds they have today. Basically, nothing seemed to work," I recalled.

"What did you do? I mean, you look... you're beautiful," Ben wondered.

"Yeah well, just don't look too close. I still carry a couple of deep scars, and makeup does wonders. No, actually I just got older. I think I was about twenty-five when things started to finally simmer down. I also believe a positive attitude might have helped."

"Telling me I should be happy about myself, and just forget what others say?" Ben recited something somebody must have offered years ago.

"Not exactly. Instead of wasting my time with that superficial bullshit, I just spent more of my energy on developing a captivating personality and a killer figure," I laughed.

"Well it worked for you; that's for sure. You're a God damn knockout!" Ben's eyes lit up.

"You goof, I was just kidding... but I'll take the compliment," I said, softly running the back of my hand against his cratered face.

"So, you got this whole date thing figured out?" Donny asked, downing his second beer, as he entered the family room.

"Sure," Ben started, "First, we get her liquored to the max, and then I take the bag off my head and screw her 'til she falls madly in love with me –how's that sound?"

"GREAT Ben, sounds like a plan to me," Donny laughed and slapped him on the back. "Just remember lift off is seven o'clock, at least that's the time I told Alicia we'd pick her up," my hubby reminded, before sinking into his recliner.

As Donny became instantly engaged in whatever was on the tube, I could see Ben was anything but settled on the subject. I left for the kitchen and poured two cups of coffee. Heading toward the deck, I motioned for Ben to join me.

"Ben, will this be your first real date?" I asked, after we had sipped our coffee in silence for several long minutes.
Bobbi contrasted perfectly as the leggy, tarty, forty or so, wife. As Colin explained her character, the woman had finally settled for the security and quasi-respectability even a third rate entrepreneur could provide over the tips of bum patting, crude talking rednecks that frequented the diner where she had worked.